Mad Man’s Travel Poem (With Courtesy to Sylvia Plath)

I shut my eyes and pray that Orbitz drops dead;
I lift my lids and find that it remains.
(I think I made it up inside my head.)

Three thousand bucks? No cheaper fare instead?
Like arbitrary numbers gallop in:
I shut my eyes and pray that Orbitz drops dead.

 What happened to two grand — that’s what you said!
“That price no longer exists” — what, was it slain?
(I think I made it up inside my head.)

Un-fucking-believable — I saw it in bed!
It’s been, like, maybe an hour since then.
I shut my eyes and pray that Orbitz drops dead.

I clicked the link to which I was led.
This false advertising is not humane.
(I think I made it up inside my head.)

I should’ve gone through Kayak instead.
At this rate, I’d rather take the train.
I shut my eyes and pray that Orbitz drops dead.
(I think I made it up inside my head.)

—–

Adapted from Sylvia Plath’s immortal “Mad Girl’s Love Song“; inspired by every fucking time I find a decent flight on Orbitz and click the link to book it and OH WAIT SORRY “THIS PRICE NO LONGER EXISTS NOW IT’S LIKE FIVE TIMES MORE EXPENSIVE LOL”.

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One comment

  1. Totally connect on this one! Our recent trip was largely on frequent flyer points and it still cost USD2,000 just to get from Mumbai to Winnipeg. Grrrr….. Happy hunting for affordable fares!

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